A letter written from the perspective of a teen.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Sometimes there’s a part of me that feels so overwhelmed… so heavy… that it starts to think it might be easier not to be here at all.
I don’t always understand it.
And I don’t always want it.
But when it shows up, it feels really, really big.
There’s another part of me too… a quieter one…
that actually really wants you to see me.
Not fix me. Not worry about me. Not panic. Not try to make it all go away.
Just… see me.
Your worry about me - I know it's born of love - but it doesn’t help me. I don’t know what to do with it.
It feels heavy, when I’m already carrying heavy things.
When I say things like “I don’t want to be here,”
I’m not actually trying to leave.
I’m trying to tell you how much pain I’m carrying that I don’t know what to do with.
And when you get scared — I can feel it.
Your voice changes. Your body tightens. Your questions come really fast.
It’s like you want me to be different than I am.
And then something inside of me starts to shut down…because now it feels like my pain is too much for both of us.
But when you slow down…
Even just a little…
When you stay close… and your voice feels steady… when your heart feels open to me…
something inside of me shifts.
The part of me that feels like disappearing doesn’t feel quite as alone.
And the part of me that wants to be seen…it gets a little bit stronger.
You don’t have to fix everything. You don’t have to make my big, dark feelings go away.
But when you stay with me… when you listen… when you remind me I’m not alone… it helps more than you know, even if I don’t say it in the moment.
There are parts of me that are hurting.
And there are resilient parts of me that are still here… still hoping… still wanting connection.
And when you can see both of those parts of me…
It helps me believe that maybe I don’t have to disappear to feel better again.
So please see me. All of me. Especially when I want to disappear. Especially when I can’t see all parts of myself.
Thanks for loving me, and for believing in me, and for holding hope for me, especially when I’m lost in the dark.
Because that’s when I need the light of your love - not the heaviness of your worry - the most.
Love, Your Teen