Child: What Is Going On With My Child?
When a child suddenly becomes defiant, withdrawn, clingy, overly sensitive, or unusually angry, it can be confusing—and often painful—for parents. Many caregivers ask themselves, “What is going on with my child?” and quietly wonder if they’ve done something wrong.
In most cases, these changes are not bad behavior. They are a child’s way of communicating stress, overwhelm, or unmet needs with the tools they currently have. This page helps translate common behavior shifts into understandable signals, offers practical next steps, and explains how child therapy can support both your child and you—without blame or labeling.
Why Children’s Behavior Changes So Suddenly
Children experience the world through developing brains and nervous systems. The parts of the brain responsible for pausing, planning, and perspective-taking mature gradually over childhood and adolescence. Meanwhile, emotion and threat-detection systems are highly active.
When a child feels overwhelmed—by stress, change, fear, or pressure—their nervous system may shift into survival mode. This can show up as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses, even in everyday situations.
In daily life, this might look like:
- Meltdowns or defiance
- School refusal or procrastination
- Withdrawal or emotional shutdown
- Frequent stomachaches or headaches
- “I don’t care” responses or constant apologizing
These behaviors are signals—not character flaws.
Common Stress Responses in Children (Translated)
Understanding these patterns can reduce fear and shame for both parents and children.
Fight
Arguing, yelling, hitting, or refusing can be a child’s way of regaining control when they feel powerless.
Example: A 9-year-old begins arguing about everything after a move, using anger as emotional armor.
Freeze
Shutdown, indecision, or “I don’t know” responses can signal overwhelm.
Example: A 14-year-old stops turning in homework and becomes unresponsive to questions.
Fawn
People-pleasing or perfectionism can emerge when a child fears conflict or disconnection.
Example: A 7-year-old repeatedly checks if a caregiver is upset and apologizes excessively.
Your role is not to decode perfectly—but to notice patterns, respond with steadiness, and seek support when needed.
When Behavior Changes Are Worth a Closer Look
Some emotional ups and downs are part of development. What matters most is duration, intensity, and impact.
It may be time to seek additional support if changes:
- Last more than a few weeks
- Intensify instead of easing
- Interfere with sleep, school, friendships, or family life
- Create daily power struggles or emotional exhaustion
A child does not need a diagnosis to deserve support.
How Child Therapy Helps (Without Blame)
Trauma-informed child therapy focuses on safety, skill-building, and connection—not labeling or “fixing” a child.
Depending on your child’s needs, therapy may include:
- Play-based or creative approaches to express feelings
- Skills for emotional regulation and coping
- Support for anxiety, shutdown, or big reactions
- Caregiver coaching to reduce escalation at home
- Neurodiversity-affirming strategies tailored to your child
Parents and caregivers are typically included, because children heal best in supportive relationships.
Next Best Step
If your instincts tell you something has shifted for your child, that’s reason enough to reach out. A trauma-informed child therapy consultation can help you make sense of what you’re seeing, identify supports, and decide what level of care fits best.