Written from the Perspective of a Troubled Teen
Dear Mom and Dad,
Sometimes I start to say something…
and then I stop.
Not because I don’t want to talk.
I do - I want to talk.
I need to talk to someone about it all.
But something inside of me gets scared.
It feels like I’ve already said too much.
Like I’ve opened a door that I’m not sure I’m ready to walk through.
There’s a part of me that wants you to understand.
And another part of me that wants to hide.
And those parts of me are all intertwined inside.
So I shut down.
I say, “Never mind.”
“I’m fine.”
“Forget it.”
But it isn’t always about you.
It isn’t always because you said the wrong thing.
It usually happens when something inside of me feels - well, kind of exposed. And I don’t know if it’s safe to keep going.
Yesterday, when I opened up about thinking about hurting myself, I noticed that you stayed calm…
You didn’t push…
You didn’t look at me with worried eyes…
You didn’t chase me with questions…
And something inside of me actually relaxed.
I felt more connected to you.
I felt less alone.
Even though I didn’t start talking again right away.
It felt good to know that I can shut down, and I can feel that you’re still there. Next to me. By my side.
That you didn’t disappear.
That you didn’t get overwhelmed.
That you didn’t make it about you.
That you didn’t make it about fixing me.
That matters.
That matters more than you know.
And then…later last night…when it felt a little safer…I came back to talk.
Maybe not in the same way. Maybe not the way you wanted. But I came back. And I opened up a little more.
So when I stop talking, please don’t give up on me.
Please don’t assume the moment is gone.
Please don’t think you did something wrong.
You staying steady…
is what helps me find my way back.
So - thanks for being patient with me -
and for persevering -
especially when I push you away.
Love,
Your Teen