In a groundbreaking new study released this week, researchers confirmed what many new parents have long suspected: everyone else seems to be doing a phenomenal job raising their babies—except you.
The study, conducted by the prestigious Institute for Parenting Excellence and Quiet Bedtimes, found that while most parents smoothly navigate infancy and toddlerhood with grace, patience, and well-rested clarity, your household appears to be a puzzling outlier.
“Across the board, babies are sleeping through the night by six weeks, toddlers are joyfully eating a wide range of vegetables, and parents are calmly sipping hot coffee in the mornings and enjoying meaningful conversations with friends over long meals each night, with their baby sitting quietly at the table,” said lead researcher Dr. Amanda Whitely. “And then… there’s your situation.”
Experts Baffled by Your Baby’s Unique Challenges
According to the study, nearly all babies worldwide follow predictable schedules and communicate their needs clearly and politely—except, strangely, yours.
While other infants reportedly fall asleep drowsy but awake after a brief cuddle, your baby appears to:
- Wake the moment you lower them into the crib
- Sense when you’ve finally drifted off
- Require movement, sound, darkness, light, or some unknowable combination of all five
“We’ve ruled out hunger, gas, overstimulation, and normal infant development,” said Dr. Whitely. “At this point, we can only conclude that your baby is… different.”
Feeding Going Smoothly for Everyone Else
The research also revealed that feeding tends to be straightforward for most families.
Other babies latch easily, take bottles without protest, and politely stop eating when full.
Your baby, however, seems to:
- Reject the bottle they loved yesterday
- Cry during feedings for reasons no one can explain
- Demand food immediately after being fed
- Change preferences mid-feed
“Most parents report feeding as an intuitive and bonding experience,” said Whitely. “You, on the other hand, appear to be conducting ongoing experiments with unclear variables.”
Parents Worldwide Calm, Confident, and Emotionally Regulated
Perhaps most striking, the study found that new parents everywhere else are emotionally stable, confident, and rarely overwhelmed.
They trust their instincts, avoid internet rabbit holes, and never question whether they’re doing irreversible damage.
Meanwhile, you may be:
- Googling at 3:14am
- Wondering if this phase will last forever
- Comparing yourself to a parent on social media who looks suspiciously rested
- Crying while holding a crying baby
“We can’t explain this discrepancy,” Whitely noted. “But statistically speaking, you are alone in your exhaustion.”
Researchers Considering In-Home Observation
Due to the unusual nature of your experience, researchers are reportedly considering observing your household more closely.
“We’d like to understand why bedtime takes 90 minutes at your house,” said one team member. “This does not align with our data.”
At press time, they were also discussing whether your baby’s nap resistance might be studied separately, “just to be safe.”
Honest Takeaways (Because We Should Probably Say This Out Loud)
Here’s the part the study somehow missed:
- Babies are not broken—and neither are you. Infant sleep, feeding, and regulation are biologically messy, especially in the first three years.
- Exhaustion changes perception. When you’re sleep-deprived, everything feels bigger, harder, and more personal.
- Struggle does not mean failure. It usually means you’re responding to a real, developing human with real needs.
- There is no gold standard baby. Just babies, parents, and a lot of learning on both sides.
If parenting feels harder than you expected, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong. Support, reassurance, and compassionate guidance can make an enormous difference during this season.
Here in Los Altos, San Jose, Mountain View, and Half Moon Bay, parents often tell us they feel like everyone else has parenting figured out, while they’re still struggling.
At Mindful Child & Family Therapy, we support parents through these challenges with compassion and practical tools.