A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Low Mood in Children & Teens
It started with stomachaches. First on Monday mornings, then most school days. At first, you wondered if it was something they ate, or maybe nerves about a test. But then the headaches started. Your child seemed quieter, slower to laugh, quicker to withdraw. Homework became harder. Getting out the door felt heavier. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something feels… off.
If you’re reading this, you’re likely trying to sort out whether what you’re seeing is normal moodiness or something deeper. You love your child, and you want to understand how to support them without overwhelming them. You are not alone — many parents find themselves asking the same question: “Is my child depressed?”
Before we go further, take a breath. There is a way forward, and you don’t have to figure this out alone.
Low Mood vs Minor Depression vs Major Depression: What’s the Difference?
1. Low Mood (Normal, Temporary Ups and Downs)
All kids and teens have periods of sadness, frustration, or irritability. Low mood linked to a specific stressor is normal and usually resolves within a few days or weeks. They still enjoy many things and functioning stays mostly intact.
2. Persistent Low-Grade Depression (PDD/Dysthymia)
This is more subtle, but lasts longer. Children may seem frequently tired, irritable, flat, or withdrawn. It lasts for at least a year and feels like they’re “not fully here,” even if they’re still functioning.
3. Major Depression (MDD)
Major Depression is more intense and disruptive. Signs include a loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, sleep/appetite changes, withdrawal, persistent sadness or irritability, hopelessness, difficulty concentrating, self-harm thoughts and/or fantasies about ending their life (known as suicidal ideation).
How Children Show Depression in Their Bodies
Kids often express emotional pain through physical symptoms. Stomachaches, headaches, nausea, chest tightness, fatigue, and appetite changes are common — and real. Their bodies often communicate before their words do.
If You’re Worried, Here’s the Most Important Thing You Can Do
Stay calm. Move closer. Offer connection. Be curious. Before talking with your child, it can help to talk with a therapist yourself. A therapist can guide you on language and timing. When checking in with your child, keep it gentle: “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. Anything you want to say about that?” or “You don’t have to figure this out alone. I’m right here, sweetie.” Or “Lots of people feel this way. I feel low too sometimes. You’re not alone.”
Refrain from identifying this as a “problem” to “fix”
Kids and teens are sensitive to being seen as a “problem” in their families. It can cause them to feel some shame about their feelings, and they might try to hide their symptoms from you. So instead of sharing concerns with your child / teen about their low mood, consider bringing your concerns to trusted friend or a licensed professional. Bring your warm curiosity to your child / teen, and save your concerns and specific questions about diagnosis for a therapist.
When to Reach Out for Professional Support
Seek support if low mood lasts more than a couple of weeks, physical complaints persist, your child withdraws socially, school becomes harder, joy fades, or you feel unsure how to help. Thoughts of self-harm or suicide are urgent signs to reach out immediately.
A Gentle Reminder
Depression in kids and teens is highly treatable, especially when caught early. The goal isn’t to “fix” your child, but to walk with them with connection and curiosity so they feel seen, safe and supported by you.
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