Over the years, we have learned that defiant children are crying out for help. Their off-track behavior is a signal to us, the loving adults in their lives, that there are some unsolved problems which are causing them a great deal of tension that need to be addressed. When children begin to show defiant behavior, it can trigger a sense of powerlessness in a parent. And when any human feels powerless, it tends to trigger rage. So a cycle of defiant behavior in the child quickly leads to rage in a parent. The loving parent tends to focus on changing the child’s behavior, yet that often simply leads to increased frustration and exasperation.
Instead, the therapists and parent coaches on our team have found it more helpful to focus on shifting the parent-child dynamic. We work closely with parents so we can begin to gain a better understanding of the habitual aspects of the interactions that tend to increase agitation and distress. We coach parents to intervene in ways that are more likely to help shift the child’s behaviors in a more cooperative direction. At the root of these interventions is the importance of deepening the sense of connection as well as self-awareness in both parent and child.
We know that the days with a defiant child can drag on. The power struggles are exhausting, and seem endless. We know that you are so tired of your child’s defiant behaviors. We know it seems like it will never get better. But it is possible for things to change. And we believe that the change will start with you, the loving, committed parent. We’re here to help you, and to provide guidance and encouragement along the way, as you develop a more fulfilling and easeful relationship with your child!
There is hope. We can help.
WATCH THIS VIDEO ON LIMIT SETTING WITH JACLYN LONG:
“Three Hindrances to Effective Limit Setting” – Jaclyn Long
The Explosive Child – Ross Greene
CLICK HERE to read about a helpful way to introduce the idea of therapy to your child.